I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
