I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
