yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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