Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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