Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
