4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Umm I'm too high to move.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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