bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
