She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
