Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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