I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
