im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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