We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
