You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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