they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
