Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
