I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
