Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
