Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
