OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
