if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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