you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
