ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He uses pillows to masturbate.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize