I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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