Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
