i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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