is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
