im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
