Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
