I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Let's get the cat blown out
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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