If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
