so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
