A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
