He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
