I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
