she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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