I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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