please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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