My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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