Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
