My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
