whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
