The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
