Sry I called you an 8
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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