i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
