She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize