there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
