Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
