I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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