heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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