I like my sex mixed with concussions.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
