So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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