We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
