I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
