woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
accomplished twins. life is a go
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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