The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
