We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
